In a stunning reversal of thousands of years of policy, God today declared pork kosher and perhaps more surprising beef and lamb traif.

When questioned on this stunning reversal of policy God commented “it’s come to my attention that pork has less than half the CO2 emissions of beef and a third of lamb, eating less of those can really help the environment.”

Seeking other insight we ran into Rabbi Bloomstein at Dickey’s BBQ pit with a plate of baby back ribs. When asked about the change Rabbi only said “I’m deep in contemplation about the change and trying to understand it more fully.”